Nicole Colantoni
Leading Dating & Relationship Coach
eharmony Australia’s dating expert, former POPSUGAR columnist, and host of Love Uncensored: The Modern Guide To Dating And Relationships.
That’s My Official Bio
But I used to be the “single friend” who was “unlucky in love”
If love has ever felt like an inside joke you weren’t privy to—or like everyone else got the memo except you—just know: I’ve been there. For almost a decade, I stayed stuck in the same exhausting cycles. Dating the wrong people. Ignoring red flags. Wondering if something was wrong with me.
This space, this work—it exists because I know what that struggle feels like. And because I also know it can change. I created this practice after living every part of the cycle you’re in. That means I see you. And I see what’s possible for you, too.
If love has ever felt like an inside joke you weren’t privy to—or like everyone else got the memo except you—just know: I’ve been there. For almost a decade, I stayed stuck in the same exhausting cycles. Dating the wrong people. Ignoring red flags. Wondering if something was wrong with me.
This space, this work—it exists because I know what that struggle feels like. And because I also know it can change. I created this practice after living every part of the cycle you’re in. That means I see you. And I see what’s possible for you, too.
Your Story Sounds A Lot Like Mine Did
And that’s exactly why I do this work
For nine years, I was painfully single. I went on over 200 first dates. Approached dating like it was a full-time job. Tried being chill. Made the vision boards. Read the books, saw the professionals, asked the Universe, did the self-work—and still ended up in the same place (alone).
At a certain point, I didn’t just feel unlucky in love. I started to believe maybe I was the problem. I wanted a partner, badly. But I couldn’t seem to find the right one. And I had no idea why.
I thought I was doing everything right. But underneath it all, I was stuck in familiar patterns that were never serving me in the first place.
Turns Out, Dating Wasn’t The Issue
It was my conditioning
I used to think the problem was bad timing. Or bad luck. Or bad dates. But the truth is, most of us are trying to build secure relationships on top of what we learned in chaos. That was me.
I grew up in a home where love didn’t feel safe. I learned early that love could be unpredictable, conditional, or even painful. And without realising it, that experience shaped everything—how I attached, how I coped, who I dated, and how I showed up in love.
It took years to see my patterns weren’t personality flaws, they were survival strategies. And until I got curious about what was driving them, I kept repeating the same cycles and behaviours.
The real shift happened when I stopped blaming my circumstances and started doing the deeper work—unlearning what love isn’t, untangling the patterns I picked up to stay safe, and rewiring the way I showed up in connection.
That’s when things start to shift.
Today, Everything Looks Different
But not because I got lucky
Today, I’m in a marriage that feels calm, secure, and deeply safe. We talk, we laugh, we choose each other daily—and I don’t lose myself trying to earn love or force a connection.
This wasn’t luck. It was a decision. To stop repeating what was familiar. I unlearned the beliefs, attachment wounds, and nervous system responses that were quietly running the show and built new ones to support the woman (and partner) I was becoming.
That work changed everything.
Now, it’s what I help others do. Through 1:1 coaching, I support singles, couples, and individuals in relationships who are ready to stop repeating old patterns, and start creating something different.
My practice blends lived experience with research-backed psychology.
It’s trauma-informed, person-centered, grounded in attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and compassionate inquiry, and built on one belief: you're not broken, you’re just wired for what you learned. But rewiring is possible.
Since starting this work, I’ve helped over 400+ clients worldwide reconnect to their self-worth, rewrite their patterns, and build the kind of love they thought wasn’t possible.
I also host Love Uncensored: The Modern Guide to Dating & Relationships and worked as eharmony Australia’s dating expert.
This is my story. But the stories that move me most are my clients’. The ones who went from situationships that left them second-guessing everything to relationships where they feel steady, chosen, and understood. The ones who sat in the grief of heartbreak and came out more grounded in themselves than ever. The couples who felt disconnected and unsure, but stayed in the work and found their way back to each other. Watching those shifts—again and again—is the greatest privilege of what I do.
That’s what I want for you. And it starts here.
The Quick Bits
Aka: Why I get it
If you're skimming, here's what you should know:
I didn’t become a dating coach because I nailed love on the first try. I got here by living every version of stuck, and learning how to move through them.
- 9 years single, 200+ first dates, and more disappointment than I care to admit
- Childhood trauma survivor with a soft spot for self-sabotage (been there)
- Now in a marriage that feels calm, secure, and chosen
- Certified trauma and Compassionate Inquiry informed coach
- Host of Love Uncensored (streamed in 150+ countries)
- eharmony Australia’s dating expert
- 400+ clients worldwide
If I Still Had A Dating Profile
You’ve heard my story. Now here’s who I am today.
Married to the love of my life (yes, after 200+ first dates)
Dating columnist, corporate escapee, failed wellness startup founder & playwright
Good food, deep chats, and words of affirmation
I lucid dream and use it for personal growth (weird but true)
Sydney, but I’ll never say no to Paris or a countryside getaway
Harley (golden retriever, main character energy), Luna + Darcy (cats, dramatic)
Sauna, massage, dog park, and reading something nerdy about the brain
Unlearned what love isn’t, and rebuilt it from the inside out